It makes me dream, and when I dream I do it about horrible things, never anything nice. The last two nights have just been a snuff dream party, Tarantino style.
A couple of friends are walking through a city that we have just traveled to. They enter a S&M museum that is a tour only. Inside this museum there are varieties not just S&M but snuff art and other violent/sexual expos. I had stayed behind for unknown reasons, when I see two young men walk in after them, with evil grins on their faces. I see one pull out a hammer from his pants and walk into the museum alongside his partner. I speed up my gait to catch up with them. I follow them without being seen until we reach a point of the tour in which we are in a small hallway with two corners at each end where no one can see us.
I see one of the men look at his partner and grab the hammer, he turns forward toward where my group of friends are ready with the hammer in hand. I run towards the first men and smash his head against the wall, he falls down passed out immediately. I run behind the one with the hammer, put my hand above his shoulder and lock him to take off the hammer. I get a hold of the hammer while he swings at me, I swing at him with the hammer, it lands perfectly on his ear. He falls down to the side, my friends have just walked through the corner and now are out of sight.I turn around to the see the first man coming toward me, I raise the hammer and he stops and puts his hands in the air. I look to his partner, I can see his hear hanging off, and his skull smashed in from the hammer, but he is somehow conscious, “We need to get him to a hospital” I tell his partner, he nods and walks toward him. “No, you can’t” he spoke in a soft mellow voice, the voice of a boy who had just turned into a man. “If you take me to the hospital, they will take me to jail, I can’t go to jail”, he spoke between heavy breaths, I looked at him not believing my ears “If we don’t take you to the hospital you will die, not that you don’t deserve it” my heart had warmed to the idiot of a thief that laid before me. “I rather die, please, if you don’t mind, do it quick”, he looked at me with one eye covered in blood and one blue eye that told he sadness of his life. His partner had been squatted down next to him muted all this time and at that point he finally talked “I’ll do it” his voice trembling, I looked at him, dirty blonde curly hair, chubby cheeks with a skimpy body, the eyes of a boy who had never taken a life. His bleeding friend looked at me and nodded. I gave his friend the hammer and said “wait, let me make sure no one will hear us”. I walked towards were we had come from and looked at the corner, no one was there. I walked to the other side of the hall, were my friends had walked to, they were still there admiring dildos with spikes, holed gag balls, and full leather suits. I held my hand up to signal the two men to wait, while I watched out the two spoke softly, the blonde one had begun to cry. Finally, my friends moved on, I lowered my hand and he lowered the hammer, a choked screamed fell from his friend, and the hammer struck again, the sounds of the breaking bones muffled by the ripping flesh. Three, four, five more hammer strikes, until there laid just a disfigured face. I looked at his partner nodded and walked away.
We walked into the living room, Sarah’s mother laid there lifeless on the couch, a single shot to the head. I crouched, I didn’t know if there was anybody still in the house. I crawled to the body, to see if there were anything to tell me what had happened. As I sat next to it, I saw a leg behind the other couch a male work boot, “Nick…” I said to myself. I had know Nick since I began hanging out with Sarah, but Nick was no normal man, I had always know that Sarah was a “military brat” so I had assumed that her father was a ranking officer in the Navy since it was the only military branch in town. However, a year back it had become clear to me that Nick was not just a ranking officer, he was gone at odd times right when things would develop in the war front or diplomatic conflicts were contained. One time I asked Sarah what her father did, and she looked at me and said “honestly, I have no idea”. Seeing Nick’s dead body in the floor made me realize it had not been a simple break-in, whoever it was, had been there for him. I crawled to the small cabinet with books that was in the living room, a few months back I had accidentally discovered a compartment where Nick (I assume it was him) kept a Springfield XD .45. I took the gun and made sure it was loaded, I took a deep breath and stood up, I was going to find the motherfucker that did this. Only the light in the living room where Nick and Sarah’s mom laid dead was on. No lead as to where the shooter had gone through. So, I walked into the house. The living room lead to the kitchen, I checked the knife holder to see if I had knives to worry about, however all of them where in place. There had been no one in there, everything was neat and still.
From the kitchen, you could walk into a bedroom, a garage or into a hallway leading to the family rooms. I decided to check the garage to see if somebody had walked in through there. The door was closed and the garage was locked, I made my way around the old jaguar that sat in the garage to make sure no one was hiding. (Haven’t decided if I’ll finish this, so here for now)
Yet another one… I’m only twenty one years old and I have seen more death than anyone else my age where I live. I’m tired of it… It has turned me dull, and I don’t want to be that. In other things, one of my cats is sick, I don’t know if he will make it through the night.
I saw an ant die. You might think “there is nothing extraordinary in an ant dieing”, but this was no ordinary death. I am sitting down reading, when our of the corner of my eye I see something moving on the floor, I put down my book to take a close look at what caught my eye, and I see an ant walking around. There is nothing extraordinary about this ant, just a medium sized red ant looking for food. I raise my foot to squash it, but I bring my foot back and just looked at the ant and followed it around the floor. It seemed lost, trying to find it’s line, it climbed up and climbed down. At one moment it stopped moving, simply stood there moving it’s little antennas. Then it dropped it’s head. In a moment it turned it’s head around and bit it’s own body, there was twiching, I could see it screaming, a silent scream. Then it’s legs dropped and it curled into fetal position. It had killed itself, when it found no meaning to life, it couldn’t bare it.
when you are dead…
I will burn your gods and your idols. I will leave you nothing to worship but the pain and the agony in which you drown. I will let you raise the knife to your neck and feel the agony of the blade, but you will never know the relief of death.